My grandpa fingered me, my grandpa then had a stroke and died

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Are You A Zombie?

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  My grandpa fingered me, my grandpa then had a stroke and died

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  How many can I cram into one? A poem: My 95 year old grandpa fingered me, then had a stroke and died today, and then turned into a HARLEY RIDING vampire.

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  My grandpa fingered me, my grandpa then had a stroke and died and then he turned into a vampire

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  MY grandpa is a vampire.

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  That's not even a legitimate search, they're just telling a browser that an old relative violated them like Google is some sort of therapist.